oh dear

its never a good idea to write a blog at 12:57 am while listening to dashboard confessional... hahaha.
basically, people make me really kinda sad sometimes. i do care. but i cant anymore. its too hard. thats all.

coffee and laughter.

i love starbucks in the winter. aside from the fact the coffee is actually not great, i like the place. so cozy, and always good music. i like the couches. and i like chai frappes. plus its open late. so we went here a few nights ago, me and some girls from church, rosie took pictures of me. hah.

perspective.

just when you think that everything in your life has fallen apart, you meet someone whose house has burnt down, whose mum has cancer and whose best friend died in a car accident last week.

when you feel more let down by a friend than ever before, you take a moment to look around and realise there's another who is willing to pick up the slack, standing right by your side.

when you feel like everything has been a lie, you walk away and wake up one morning and open your eyes that little bit wider and see things for how they really are. And you can actually smell the daisy bush at your back door and see the raindrops drizzling on the window.

when the stress levels have hit the roof and you feel like you cant go any further or you will simply break... you finish your work. and realise that you can always push just that little bit more, when you really have to.

when you think your heart has broken to the point of no return, you let time have a go at healing it and suddenly you find yourself with butterflies in your tummy all over again.

perspective is a wonderful thing... and given half a chance, it will save you that minute you'll waste being sad, when you could be feeling happy.



...whanau, my sisters heaps and heaps of years ago.

obsession...

i definately am obsessed with polaroid pictures, they turn up everywhere around my room, in my diary, bible, journal. today the wind through my window blew some on the floor hah. theres something so, i guess 'special' about polaroid pictures. yes i know you can do similar effects on photoshop and such but its not the same at all. i love how you can't edit a polaroid, it is what it is. sometimes they turn out brilliantly and sometimes they really dont. you just have to kind of cross your fingers and hope for the best. i like this.

oh the sky..

"the sky was beautiful, you were not here to see it"

i miss you still

dont mean to sound like a broken record but i just miss people. lots. hey friends, lets hang out, i dont see some of you often enough. its real dumb how, if people arent in certain circles the same as what you are, then you just tend to slip real easy, im not keen on this. not at all. and i like to think that the fact i miss some people is around about way of saying im blessed cause i know so many truly amazing amazing people, who have shaped me and i love with all of my heart. but still, i just reall really miss you.



Listening to: Forgive Me- City and Colour

healer

You hold my every moment.
You calm my raging seas.
You walk with me through fire.
And heal all my disease

I trust in You.
I trust in You.

I believe your my healer.
I believe you are all I need.
I believe your my portion.
I believe your more than enough for me.
Jesus your all I need.

My healer, You're my healer.

Nothing is impossible for You.
Nothing is impossible.
Nothing in impossible for You.
You hold my world in Your hands.



i know headaches dont seem like a big deal to most people, but probably most people dont get headaches most days. how often do most people get them? hmm. I've been struggling with them evr since I was about 11 or 12, but there are some weeks that are worse then others. I'm looking to my Jesus for my healing, its all I can do.
(I dont need your diagnosis, no i don't need to drink more water, eat less sugar, go to an osteopath or get my eyes checked but thanks :] ) my back is just wasted and thats the reason for the headaches. anyway, i like this song a whole bunch, i listen to it every morning and most nights too. if you dont know the story behind mike guglielmucci(the guy who wrote it) you should definately check it out on mysapce, God is good, He so is our healer.