its never a good idea to write a blog at 12:57 am while listening to dashboard confessional... hahaha. basically, people make me really kinda sad sometimes. i do care. but i cant anymore. its too hard. thats all.
i love starbucks in the winter. aside from the fact the coffee is actually not great, i like the place. so cozy, and always good music. i like the couches. and i like chai frappes. plus its open late. so we went here a few nights ago, me and some girls from church, rosie took pictures of me. hah.
just when you think that everything in your life has fallen apart, you meet someone whose house has burnt down, whose mum has cancer and whose best friend died in a car accident last week.
when you feel more let down by a friend than ever before, you take a moment to look around and realise there's another who is willing to pick up the slack, standing right by your side.
when you feel like everything has been a lie, you walk away and wake up one morning and open your eyes that little bit wider and see things for how they really are. And you can actually smell the daisy bush at your back door and see the raindrops drizzling on the window.
when the stress levels have hit the roof and you feel like you cant go any further or you will simply break... you finish your work. and realise that you can always push just that little bit more, when you really have to.
when you think your heart has broken to the point of no return, you let time have a go at healing it and suddenly you find yourself with butterflies in your tummy all over again.
perspective is a wonderful thing... and given half a chance, it will save you that minute you'll waste being sad, when you could be feeling happy.
...whanau, my sisters heaps and heaps of years ago.
i definately am obsessed with polaroid pictures, they turn up everywhere around my room, in my diary, bible, journal. today the wind through my window blew some on the floor hah. theres something so, i guess 'special' about polaroid pictures. yes i know you can do similar effects on photoshop and such but its not the same at all. i love how you can't edit a polaroid, it is what it is. sometimes they turn out brilliantly and sometimes they really dont. you just have to kind of cross your fingers and hope for the best. i like this.
dont mean to sound like a broken record but i just miss people. lots. hey friends, lets hang out, i dont see some of you often enough. its real dumb how, if people arent in certain circles the same as what you are, then you just tend to slip real easy, im not keen on this. not at all. and i like to think that the fact i miss some people is around about way of saying im blessed cause i know so many truly amazing amazing people, who have shaped me and i love with all of my heart. but still, i just reall really miss you.