"to love at all is to be vulnerable. love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. if you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no-one, not even to an animal. wrap it careful around hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of selfishness. bus in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable... the only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is hell." C.S Lewis.
i don't think i've posted this before. but i could be wrong, i do love this quote. it sums me up pretty well. i'm the wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve kinda person, not in a romantic relationship kinda way but just, i will love you. through it all.
i know my heart your strong, got a feeling that you'll survive, these lost and lonesome times.
hold on my heart, hold on my heart, find your stronger part and hold on my heart.
thinking of him each day, when he is miles away, you know it wont serve you well, it's better for time to tell. now you're growin, up wiser, oh, your not so easily crushed, still innocent and strange, all your strength still remains.
oh sarah blasko, i do enjoy you endlessly.
p.s- i really enjoy this one alot too. we don't have a picture together and i'm not into that fact at all.
it feels like my world has been spinning in double- time. meetings every few nights. trips to auckland. shows. youth. threw a baby shower. bridesmaid dress shopping. wedding planning. hens nights to be thrown. youth ball soon. team tonga. but my friends are so so good, so this is for them. in the order i find photos.
rosie posie, i enjoy it when you call me at 2am and keep me company until i fall asleep. i miss sleeping on your floor, i'm sad that i don't see you enough. please come back into my life alot.
beka, babe of my life. encourages me, loves me, hangs with me. the best neighbour you could ask for.
kayla, you are crazy but lovely. and i love you.
amie, i gave you your first nickname within 2 days of knowing you. you make me laugh so much. your bible verse texts get me through work. i just flippin love you.
jess, since you've gotten back there have been so many moment where i have LITERALLY stopped and just had a moment of being stoked that your back in my country. oh i enjoy you so much. arohanui x
josiah, oh rock, come back you dick. x
oh laura, my best, you will be my maid of honour. i can sit, laugh, cry, listen and just be with you. thank you.
leon, my braja- we are so alike in so many ways. i hope you are in my life forever.
kathleen, most sweet-hearted girl i know. you are a joy and light and i love you.
josh, i enjoy you, lets watch john mayer together soon. and august rush. and nick and norahs infinate playlist. good.
bill, you win on every level, you are so decent. i love having weekly(nearly) coffee with you. love you friend.
josh, oh my soul, what a year for you huh? by the end of it you'll have a new wife and a daughter, yikes. you are my brother and i will be here for you always.
bob, you rule, i'm glad your in my life. getting text updates on that boy made me laugh. vetz breakfasts made me laugh. you make me laugh! i'm stoked to lead with you!
p.s- amanda can we hang out soon please? i miss your face. we haven't taken a photo together all year, i think of you often. and lauren joy ness, same goes for you. come and have a holiday at my house please.
"Her heart fed his vanity, so he kept it in his pocket and painted the masks he wore with the dreams he found in her unconditional affection. He put her down softly. So softly that his dark words sounded like love songs. He held no mirrors in his soul and looked at himself reflected in her eyes, because in them he found his flaws erased. She loved him and he loved that she loved him, so he broke her heart slowly. He furnished the spaces inside her with quiet confusion and self doubt until his invisible flaws became her own. He remained perfect in her eyes"
enjoyable things right now: multiple beverages at cafes, for example a coffee and a dc. sending away bags and bags of clothes to opshops. putting on shorts and tshirt in the morning, walking outside, realising its freezing, go back inside and get changed into something more appropriate. team tonga. going to the mount. wooden pegs. organising baby showers, weddings and balls. buying dresses for said events (actually this is not enjoyable, can't find a single thing i'd like). filming youth videos in elevators. where the light is dvd. new notebooks. new magazines. old friends. weheartit.com. writing notes.
oh my soul, i just realised i haven't even blogged about my wee trip across to Australia at the end of last month, how slack am i! heres just a few snaps and highlights of a beautiful week,
goodbye new zealand...
and kia ora gold coast!
at splendour in the grass watching bloc party, i didn't get many photos from splendour but it was amazing! so many bands and people with amazing fashion and culture, ahhh, loved it so much. and VIP lounge wasn't half bad either heh heh.
i was so excited to go visit this lighthouse in byron bay, we just had the most beautiful weather while we were over there, blue skies everyday.
we stayed with rosie's family in ballina, which is about 20 minutes away from byron bay, siiick! they get this view everyday.
went for a sweet skate, haha glorious.
love this place.. red ginger.. biggest selection of green tea i've seen!
ballina beach.. at night.. in barefeet.. after they told me about the snakes. heck.
i taught them everything they know.
lots of car trips, means lot of photos.
off to do some more shopping i'd say.
the nimbin tour bus.. oh nimbin..
we spent the last two days in brisbane where i didn't take many photos but there was lots of shopping and sushi involved, amazing. so happy to be back in new zealand though, i truly love this country, and summer is coming, so exciting! i think this has been long enough now. x
When you're dreaming with a broken heart The waking up is the hardest part You roll outta bed and down on your knees And for a moment you can hardly breathe Wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room? No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
When you're dreaming with a broken heart The giving up is the hardest part She takes you in with her crying eyes Then all at once you have to say goodbye Wondering could you stay my love? Will you wake up by my side? No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my , roses in my hands?
Would you get them if i did? No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
When you're dreaming with a broken heart The waking up is the hardest part
my heart is heavy and light, so many amazing things in my life, but also things going on around me that break my heart.
coldplay are so good..
What if I got it wrong? And no poem or song.. Could put right what I got wrong, Or make you feel I belong What if you should decide That you don't want me there by your side That you don't want me there in your life. Oooooh, that's right Let's take a breath, jump over the side. Oooooh, that's right How can you know it if you don't even try? Oooooh, that's right