spaces and seasons

maybe its not a real wicked idea to write a blog after i've had the worst week i've had in a very long time? mmm i promise to keep the whining to a minimum though.. i'm in such a weird space right now, yes people are leaving, yes things are changing, yes people let us down, but the friends that stick by me i seem to be pushing away too, why is this? i feel so drained and sick. i was listening to shane and shane the other, i just bought their album 'upstairs' it is so, so good. this song and the words that they wrote about it in the lyrics book really stood out to me..

"i have been eating off papaer plates for a while now. beautiful, white, disposible plates. quick... convenient... tasty... at least for a moment. but oh for the feast. the four course meal. the indescribable feel of forever. where everything turns to rubbish. and fast food becomes bland and i wake with a longing...
now, i sleep... aching... malnourished.. because for some reason i've been blessed to sit at the table.. and i hate that i'm satisfied without it. with drive throughs and fast food. i miss him.
i walk with jesus. i love him. but there is something about the feast. there is someting about his feet".

"oh for the grace to enjoy the one thing necessary". (luke 10:42)


put down your paper plates
come to the table made
deep blue china
found on the table by the wine
so fine

it brings out flavor
like you bring out color in life

oh, i miss you so
the feel of forever
oh, the taste i know
it hurts to remember
unfortunately high
ironically dissatisfied
i miss you
i miss you

oh, i miss you so
the feel of forever
oh, the taste i know
it hurts to remember

i had a fleeting thought this morning
and i mentioned you today
it breaks my heart just to know you in part
and not to be with you where you are.

i miss you- shane and shane.

boy, im tired

changes are comin'. God is good. He is always the same, yesterday, today and forever, i can hold onto that, i like that.

photos from happenings the past week or so..





these are from jess' leaving doo.


i'm spending saturday night at home alone, its a good feeling, i needed this.


Listening to: Tired- Adele

people

i like this quote..

"to love at all is to be vulnerable. love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. if you want to make sure of keeping i tintact, you must give your heart to no-one, not even to an animal. wrap it careful around hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of selfishness. bus in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. it will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable... the only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is hell." C.S Lewis.

quiet nights

love them, i've just been looking at pretty blogs for about the last hour, i want one heh heh.
i've also been dreaming of travelling, i was looking at camp america but i don't really know if that woulf be for me. i dream of europe constantly, il get there one day soon. next year its sydney, then maybe i'll take a year off travelling and save, who knows, hopefully my sister can get me a flight some place cheap, sometime soon. i'd like a holiday, sydney was amazing, but not really a holiday, in the sense that i didn't rest or sleep properly at all during the week i was away. maybe i should plan something awesome for this summer, who wants to go on a roadtrip for a week? i'm completely keen, i might start saving for that too.

i'm keen for summer soonish, not just yet though.



Listening to:19- Adele

things not to do when applying/trialing for a job

I have learned these things over the past few weeks while reding over C.V's and trialing people at work.

1) Spelling things wrong on your C.V does NOT go down well. Especially when its a heading like "Work ExperiEnce" yes thats right, its not spelt "Experince".

2) "Teaching my younger siblings how to bake cookies" is not previous work experience. Neither is "Caring for my elderly grandparents". Thats just life.

3) When your boss is telling you where the grater goes for the 7th time, don't yell at him in return, its your fault that your dumb in the first place.

4) I thought that croissants were pretty normal? And bagels? Why do you not know what they are?

5) Don't ask if you can start to learn how to make coffees now if after 2 weeks you still can't put the coffee cups in the right place.

6) Don't wear boots you can't walk in and a dress when your working in a kitchen.

7) By the second week of a 2 week trial period you should know enough to not stand there awkwardly all the time.

8) Don't get your friend to speak for you when you come in with your C.V and don't chew gum in my face.

9) Since when is it normal to take the front piece of cake off the platter and leave a gap at the front of the display?

10) Watch other staff members for clues on how to act regarding what food you can eat/ drinks you can drink and breaks to take, dont go as far as they do.

11) Don't ask the same dumb question 10 times, i was starting to lose my patience the 4th time you asked.

12) Don't respond to instruction with giggling, unless its funny. If its not funny, theres no need to giggle.

13) When somebody asks you to do something, don't get crazy defensive, especially if they asked nicely, thats just uneccesary.

14) NO, HAM SANDWICHES DO NOT GET SERVED WITH CREAM, WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY!? AUGHHHHHH!

15) Don't sit on the floor of the kitchen eating toast coz you didn't have breakfast when your meant to be working, or ever.

16) When the oven timer goes off, and everybody else is busy serving customers or not in the shop, don't just leave it for the next 3 minutes, check whats in the oven isnt burning and figure out what happens next, just don't leave that horrible buzzer going.

17) Spelling is great. Learn how to do it.

18) It's always a good idea to shut the hot food display once you've finished in it.

19) When cutting tomatoes etc. it's always good to start with the knife the right way, as in cutting with the sharp part, not the blunt side. Just sayin'

Thats all I have for now based on my last few weeks, got any to add?

i miss you already

isaiah, i miss you already.

i need a new 027 phone, mine is dead, booo! anybody want to give me new one? im gunna have to go buy one tomorrow. and my rego was due today. and i owe my chiropractor money. and i still needa pay for church camp! gahhh! ok, thats enough of that little cry, il be sweet.

anyway, tonight i've just relaxed at home, and looking at all the prettiest blogs ever! i just feel like it should rain now, and i need dim lighting and a cup of tea, mmm.

i still need to put all my pretty new pictures on my wall, perhaps a mission for tomorrow morning or wednesday night, i think im ready for bed now, needa stop stressing about all the things i need, or want. or whatever.




Listening to: 19- Adele

hellos and goodbyes

ok i lied about the hellos. i haven't really said any hellos to new people in my life. i havent really said any goodbyes either though i guess, just 'see you later's.

so, friday night we had our 'ONE' service, which was about 20 youth ministries from hamilton coming together and lifting up Jesus with one vioce, there was no competition and it was just a sweet, sweet night, it doesn't matter who you are, or where you come from, we are all one body. then we went and chilled at my house for abit, i was still so dang dizzy, its getting better though, i pray im ok at work tomorrow!

i call him leong tan, hes pretty neat.

this is amanda, shes pretty lovely.

mmm, saturday i worked then chilled at rosies with some other cool kids. we watched the rugby and ate beer steak. mean! still abit dizzy but ok.

rosie, could you please just get in a picture with me for once?

sunday had church, real bad dizziness in the day, just hung by myself and had some timeout then night church and metropolis wooo! its 11:13pm now, i need to go to bed! im a nana heh heh. that was possibly the most boring thing i've written? oh! im gunna get a laptop from father! just gotta save a few hundred and a mean one will be all mine! yeee!

goodnight x




Listening to: Crazy for you- Adele

melt my heart to stone

right under my feet is air made of bricks
that pulls me down and turns me weak for you
I find myself repeating like a broken tune
and I'm forever excusing your intentions
then I give in to my pretendings
which forgive you each time
without me knowing they melt my heart to stone

and I hear your words that I made up
you say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I'm the only one
in love, I'm the only one in love

each and every time time I turn round to leave
I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed
so desperately I try to link it with my head
but instead I fall back to my knees
as you tear right through me
I forgive you once again
without me knowing you've burnt my heart to stone

and I hear your words that I made up
you say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I'm the only one
in love, I'm the only one in love

why do you steal my hand?
whenever I'm standing my own ground
you build me up then leave me there

where I hear your words you made up
I say your name like there should be an us
I best tidy up my head I'm the only one
in love, im the only one in love.

Adele is wonderful...




Listening to: 19- Adele